![]() "I tried to explain my behavior as immature zeal to serve God but this was yet another spiritual-sounding defense, totally unacceptable. (Ephesians 4:1 "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.") Ministry, for the pastor, is never just a job it is a "calling", a life-style commitment. This is the pastor loving his work more than the domestic life. Spiritualized adultery (or the daily reality of the church becoming the "paramour") seems to lead the list in clergy marriage complaints. ![]() Nonetheless, these stressors are frequently reported by clergy couples who want to quit their marriage, their ministry or both. I have catalogued from my conversations with clergy couples 14 "enemies of ministry marriage." Some of the stressors are unique to the parsonage but most are just human experiences with a bit of religious flourish. Also note that I have consistently used male pronouns for clergy persons.Ī Catalogue: Enemies of Ministry Marriage. I will suggest several "system defaults" with practical "how tos" for the clergy dyad, family and church family. I also will comment on some of the explanations with a circular perspective of causality utilizing a systemic family therapy model. In this article I propose to examine the typically cause and effect reasoning given for marital depression in clergy marriages. In the fragile balance of marriage, and the ever-delicate mobile of ministry, it is not uncommon for someone to call it quits because something important is not right. Some clergy or their spouses leave the marriage by not praying for each other, by being too busy so as to avoid confrontations, by keeping conversation and sexual fun predictable. Parts like believing in compassion because they are burnt out, or parts like ever teaching on marriage because they have not seen God come through for their inability to talk with each other without hurt. Some ministers even leave their faith, while some simply leave parts of it. This means going back on what they believe (or have believed) to be God's will for them. Some clergy quit the church they have felt called to serve. "Dear church, we quit!" is a bold statement of despair about something. In the stories of intriguing betrayal, exhausting valor producing soul fatigue and sin saturation, it seems that ministers and their spouses are trying to find out what to quit. The explanations for quitting marriage and ministry can be measured in pounds while wisdom to help clergy couples in their church and marital lives are weighed in ounces. ![]() I would guess that parishioners quit church attendance and some even their faith, for similar reasons. Pastors leave churches for about the same reasons that minister's and their spouses leave their marriages. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |